I want to give up.
Yesterday a coworker asked me how I am always so happy. I told him it's a choice. That every day when I get up I can either choose to be miserable that I'm leaving my nice warm bed or I can choose to be happy. All day I keep repeating that choice.
Tonight I find myself frustrated with my book. There's no time to write, or to even read, for goodness sake! It isn’t flying off the shelves. Far from it. Hardy anyone even knows about it, and I don't have the time or energy to keep beating my own drum so tonight I'm going to give myself the same peptalk I gave my coworker.
Tonight I'm going to pout. Tonight I'm going to curl up by the fire and say it's too hard, I give up. I think 2020 owes me that.
Tomorrow I'll chose to be happy again.
Because it really is a wonderful day.
Next day: today is the last day of 2020 and I'm done pouting. Just needed a few hours to vent and mope, but now I'm BACK!!
I woke up today! Yay! So lucky to be here and to be loved. What a glorious day!!
BRING IT, 2021!